Love Thy Self…
Posted by SHEMA Gurls on
March 12, 2009
Self Love: how you feel about yourself has a lot to do with how others feel about you. Sometimes how people feel about themselves is obvious in their appearance. We may feel that someone who walks with their head down, or never looks at others eye to eye and perhaps rarely speak in a voice barely loud enough to hear them may show sigs of a not so good opinion of one’s self.
Many of us live in “persona world” you know, that wonderful world of face masks – even when Halloween is long gone. In that world are doubts, fears, self hate, past hurts and un-forgiveness lives. Then when we come across people that we are attracted to, we quickly affirm within ourselves to not bother approaching them…in fear that they’d never really be interested. However, this may not be they others see us. It may actually be the reflection that we have come believe of ourselves…all by ourselves! This is case by not liking what we see in the mirror.
How can we truly love another if we don’t love ourselves?
If we truly expect to have loving relationships with others we must have loving relationships with ourselves first. The first thing (which is a must) is to ask yourself some tough questions. Then after that, take a long hard look at yourself and ponder the real answers you’ve come to know:
~ What would you feel about yourself if you believed you were totally accepted for whom you are, with zero masks and love was reciprocated to you?
~ Would this heal relationships? (Past or current)
~ How self confident can you see yourself becoming by leaning to love yourself?
~ Do you believe you can be a wonderful source to share love?
~ When and how will you change the way you treated yourself?
Loving Yourself …
~ Is not arrogant, bumpass or egotism!~ Some may fear that there is a thin line between self-love and conceit.~ No one can really tolerate a self loving imbasol that over does it with the self love department.~ We are way to careful, modest and self-effacing at every possible opportunity about ourselves to not come off as the over confident one.
~ We sometime minimize our accomplishments, goals and dreams.
~ We also sometimes believe people should love us for who we are, not for what we have are do.
Egotism is really another sign of self hate. Egotism is actually the very opposite of everything self love stands for.ego•tism
Pronunciation:
\ˈē-gə-ˌti-zəm also ˈe-\ Function:noun Etymology:Latin ego + English -tism (as in idiotism)
1 a: excessive use of the first person singular personal pronoun b: the practice of talking about oneself too much 2: an exaggerated sense of self-importance: conceit
Egotistic people view life in this pattern: I am above others. I am the only one that truly cares about me and my well being. There is no real love in the world so I probably will never have the love I deserve anyway. I have a right to feel this way, be judgmental, and impatient. Besides, who needs love when I look this good, have this much money, get sex whenever I want with no strings and have power over what’s mines.
After reading that, do you now see the difference in the importance of self love as it differs from an ego based view point? Egotism is all about I,I,I. Where as self love is the first act of love that reaches out to others.
~ How will you show love to yourself?
In closing:
Share you thoughts and comments with us here. This will be the next topic on The S-H-E-M-A Gurls Blog Talk Radio Show. We’d love to share you views with others live!
~ Your S-H-E-M-A Team ~
5 Responses to “Love Thy Self…”
I have always loved myself. I did have some issues when I felt I was the shortest boy in my class in high school. I guess I had a late growth spurt. I take care of myself but not to the fullest. I could stand to lose about 15 lbs. I am currently at 208 but I am down from the 235 I was a few years ago. I have always wanted to be loved for who I am and I have a spouse that does that for me. I am not the extrovert life of the party person but I am more reserved and calm. I tend not to get overly excited and for some that’s seen as not being pro-active. I get that but I am not going to change who I am because someone else thinks I need to be a certain way.
By David C on Mar 18, 2009
I enjoyed reading the “Love Thy Self” posting.
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By Frederick Penn on Mar 19, 2009
I am on a journal to love myself more. It’s not easy making life changes that bring peace, productivity and harmony to one’s life. Sometimes friends and situations have run their coarse and should be put aside. I love myself by treating myself the way I would treat other people. How did I get to be so inconsiderate and critical of me? Loving me also means accepting my limitations but also believing that I deserve to give me the best that life has to offer be it a pleasant, peaceful living enviroment, quiet time to reflect and meditate, visits to the doctor when needed, rest when my body is tired or stimulation for my mind through reading and communicating with positive people.
By Tracy Renee on Mar 19, 2009
Good topic. I believe that the questions you posed are at the essence of what is both right and wrong in many people’s lives, including my own. Personally, I’ve been working on shaking past generational curses that have afflicted or held back myself for the past few years. What started as a slow, tough journey is actually turning out to quite successful and humorous.
If you recall the movie, The Matrix, Neo was offered to take either the blue or red pill. After he took the red pill, he was riding around in the car with Morpheus and made comments about where he used to hangout and wondered if any of was real. Morpheus replied, it was never real. I recall this comment every time I am afraid of something. I ask myself is the fear real or imagined. I can honestly tell you that most fear is imagined. Unless it’s a near dog attack, mugging, someone with a gun in your face, most of our fears are self-imposed.
And this is at the crux of loving yourself. If you love yourself (not in some narcisstic way where you think you’re the shit 24/7), you don’t have to worry about the perceptions of other people. If the truth be told, all of us are in this same condition. So it’s funny that we all some form of a self-defeating attitude and for this reason, nothing gets down.
I was listening to the radio while driving home from Palo Alto one evening and this guy named Nathan was complaining about the AIG bonuses and how as a taxpayer he was furious. If that was all that was bothering Nathan, no problem. We all have our opinions. But Nathan continued to say that we wish he could SWAP his paycheck for one of the AIG bonus recipients. So what started as anger about someone receiving ill-gotten gains was actually a case of envy. The talk show host offered to give Nathan some advice about earning more than he currently making. But Nathan did not even let the radio host speak and hung up on him.
What a tragedy! If people’s fears about issues or stereotypes about others are SO GREAT, SO GREAT that we refuse to hear advice, we are SCREWED as a nation.
It hurt my soul to hear someone let their fear of someone else thousands of miles away, affect their attitude. It was sad.
That’s my two cents.
By Clarence N on Mar 19, 2009
I believe some of the reasons why people do not love themselves is because they’ve never been shown love or how to love so it’s very difficult to now be in society and trying to get along when you really have no clue how to go about it, and some of the times it’s not that that person is not a good person it’s just that they are not accustomed.
Sometimes you can love yourself very much but then someone will come along and you think that person is really good for you and slowly they start trying to tear you down because they don’t feel all that good about themselves and sometimes it affects even the strongest of people because LOVE is a really tricky emotion.
By Katrina on Mar 20, 2009