Married and Attracted To Someone Else
Posted by SHEMA Gurls on
March 5, 2009
“Okay I’m married, so why do I find myself so attracted to another”?
This thought often comes across the minds of married people. However, it is a very legitimate question. What is a married person to do when they find themselves attracted to other people. Of course you have no intentions of cheating or disrespect your marriage vows, but you also know that there is a very thin line between attraction and taking action.
~ Is there such thing as harmless attraction?
~ Is attraction harmful while in a relationship?
~ Has this happened to you?
~ What can be done?
~ How does this effect relationships?
~ Should you actually share this with your mate?
This is a S-H-E-M-A Topic of the week. This will be aired on our Blog Talk Radio Show soon. We want to hear YOUR views, stories and concerns. Your comments will be read live on the show. Thus your participation is crucial.
~ Your S-H-E-M-A Team ~
8 Responses to “Married and Attracted To Someone Else”
I believe that it is perfectly natural to be attracted to people wheather in a relationship or not. If you’re in a relationship, an attraction is harmless as long as you do not take any action in pursueing the outside person. Yes I have been attracted to someone else while in a relationship, I only admired from afar and I did not let my partner or the other person know, but I feel that they both sensed it anyway. I did not act on it as that would have been disaterous for my relationship. I did use my fantasy to fuel a few steamy encounters with my partner, of course he never knew that.
By Ladee16 on Mar 5, 2009
It”s nothing wrong with that shouldn”t nothing happen unless he cant keep up in the bed 6 senses tell everything about that…but you shouldn”t cause this leads to out break..keep a agenda with the mate..work it out if not then you both must decide..if you both should keep up..!!! for me i like long hours..in bed that leaves all the debree once it’s done to the shower once im clean…
By Darren on Mar 6, 2009
I think that it is normal to be attracted to someone else during a relationship or marriage. Of coarse there is room for gray area when you are talking about marriage and adultry. If the thought enters your mind as far whether it be emotional or physical you are considered to have commited adultry. My husband and I speak freely. If we are out and about and I see someone that is cute, I can say he looks nice or something like that and my husband can do the same without hurt feelings. How it effects a relationship depends on the magnitude of attrantion and/or how secure each person is in the relationship.
By Shahlini on Mar 9, 2009
Attraction is a by product of being human. There is nothing un-natural nor harmful about being married but attracted to another person. Marriage does not stop a person from seeing and appreciating another person. However, being attracted to another AND acting on that attraction is a recipe for disaster.
Although I am not married, I have been in very long term relationships and have found myself attracted to other men. What did I do? I turned on my heels and kept my distance. It can feel good to have a crush. It lifts one’s self esteem and gives them the attention they may not get at home but it would be foolish to risk what two people have built through time for a fling..a crush..one that might not even be mutual. The best thing to do would be to keep things in perspective and try to take some of that flirty energy home to the person you are with and not try to project emotions on to a crush. There is no guarantee that the feeling will be mutual and by then you may have risked everything you had with the person you are supposed to be involved with. If the attraction gets to the point of interfering with your relationship it may be time to ask yourself some hard questions. Do you still want to continue with the relationship or is it time to move on? Only you know the answer to that.
By Tracy Renee on Mar 9, 2009
It’s not how you feel – it is what you do about how you feel.
By Aaron B on Mar 12, 2009
I’m attracted to so many women, for so many different reasons… BUT… I’m more attracted to the one I have. Love doesn’t fail.
By Adolph on Mar 13, 2009
There is no man or woman on earth who is solely attracted to just one person or their mate. It’s natural to be attracted to others of the opposite sex, but I think where we tend to get confused is our own responsibility & control over the attraction. It’s common sense. If you like someone & “act” on it, of course you’re going to gain their attention, especially if it’s mutual. Now you know if you guys spend time together, go out, have lunch, etc. whatever, the attraction’s going to build until either you cross the line or don’t. You always have the power to stop or start an attraction. But the truth is, if you’re in a relationship that you value & cherish, why put yourself in the midst of temptation to begin with? That’s the real question we tend to avoid when we find ourselves in such situations.
By Tasha on Mar 13, 2009
I feel that it is normal to have an attraction to another person, but their are to different wrongs or right in this matter both spiritual and worldly, where by spiritual it is wrong to be mamrried and have an attraction, the bible says that if you so think it you have committed adultry in your heart, but the world says if you don’t act on it then you have not commit such a sin, so you take your pick between whatsd right and wrong, I can tell you this we all sin and has come short of Gods glory, now you will not die behind it if you repent and turn from your (wicked way) God is just to forgive you of this kind of sin, and trust the punishment is critical if you continue on this sinful road, things like you will never be able to trust that person again, the person always will think the other mater is going to get even, I mean just a lot of paranoiya just constant creation of problem after problem, between each other. filling start to change cause you got that otherperson on your mind, so yo wont be able to give your spouse your all. So yes I haver to say that it is wrong wrong wrong, but is it normal? yes it is I believe our bodys and mind require a certain kind nurturing and if it is not feed then thats when we seek the alternate. hope I help someone today.
Mz Lynn /March 13,2009
By Mz. Lynn on Mar 13, 2009